Let’s get this straight, I am a terrible cook and I have no shame in accepting that, the only eatables I can prepare are Tea, Coffee, maggi, Egg Sandwich and Ice cream Shake (which is my USP because I make one hell of tasty milk shake), if any Top Worst Cook list exist in this universe than I might be in top 5.
Just Like singing everyone believes that their cooking is excellent; I also had this notion in my mind when I was in college. I had to shift to an apartment in 3rd year with my friends because we flunked so many classes during 2nd year that college decided not to give us hostel anymore, there was this lameass rule of our college that if your class attendance is less than 75% throughout the year you won’t get college accommodation, mine was below 50%, in fact our (me and my friends) combined class attendance percentage wasn’t enough to add up to 75%.
We were new in the area so we were searching for a cook compulsorily female and all we were getting were guys so we had to settle for dhaba food for 10 days before getting one, oh Yeah We were big time Tharkis. So after having enough of dhaba food, I decided to prepare Fried rice for my friends for lunch, what I Called fried rice later became popular as Zeherille Chawal (Poisonous Rice). Why? Well we’ll get to that.
Recipe for Fried Rice is very simple; all you need is a bowl of Boiled rice, Chopped onion, tomato, Turmeric, salt, chili powder. You know the usual stuff but if you are a visionary cook (Read-Moron) like me than you can add other stuff like I did. While preparing I noticed that there was a bag of chips, peanuts, aloo bhujia and other stuff in kitchen so I decided to add all of that, and since I was already high with this notion that I am bloody good cook and whatever I’ll prepare will taste good to my friends so I went one step further and went All Italian on those fried rice by adding tons of tomato sauce. My dish was ready; I decorated it with coriander leaves and served them by adding some more aloo bhujia on it. My friends gave me a weird look after seeing my Fried rice, the same look you get when you see a 60 year old hooker with layers of make up on her wrinkled face and a tobacco stained smile brightening her ugliness.
Out of 6, only JD finished his plate, not because he is my best friend or any other emotional shit but he can digest anything, he was a monster when it comes to eating and not that I wasn’t a monster myself but even I couldn’t finish those zeherille chawal. Vikas and Shrey consumed only 10% of their fried rice, had to take eno in evening, I was forced to take an oath infront of fire that I will not put on apron even if some magical being grant me a power that world peace can be achieved if I cook for a day for my friends. And Kids that’s the story of “Why everyone is afraid of my Cooking”.
This is Prakhar Gupta & Have a Nice day by staying away from my fried rice.