Tale of Two Dogs

Everyone is posting pictures of their cats and dogs on 9Gag or facebook lately. I won’t do that or rather say I can’t do that since I don’t have any of them currently but what I have is much better than pics. I had two dogs when I was a kid, not at the same time but at a different interval. One was a horny bastard like Barney Stinson from How I met your mother and another one was a retard with a heart of gold just like Tom hanks in Forrest Gump. This is not a story with a sad ending but it’s a collection of their memories imprinted on my mind.

My First Pet

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Name- Ceaser

Breed- German shepherd

Total Time spent with me- 3 to 4 months

Ceaser was handed to me by my uncle on my 9th birthday. My sister named him Ceaser after a great king but I used to think his name was Scissor, you know, like a cutting tool and therefore I used to give him papers and clothes to tear them so that he can sharpen his teeth and later protect my family from thieves and invaders. I was a stupid kid. Ceaser was only 2 months old when I noticed that he had a thing for a neighborhood bitch Julie. Julie was a 3-4 years old white Pomeranian bitch and I don’t blame him, I mean who doesn’t dig white chicks, be it a dog or a men, everyone loves them. Julie too approved their love, they had this weird habit of sniffing the hell out of each other’s butts, first Ceaser would sniff her butt then Julie used to sniff his then again Ceaser sniff her butts and finally Ceaser would pee where Julie used to sit and all of this sniffing used to happen in front of me when I used to took him for a walk. This sniffing and peeing had a huge impact on my under developed brain which made me pee in front of the house of a girl I had crush back then, she never made her move. Told you I was a dumb kid.

Julie was a trained dog, she knew her way back home but Ceaser was a functional moron who used to follow Julie like a loyal puppy, on the second thought he was a puppy though a horny one.

I always used to put a leash on him; you know the comfortable nylon one which doesn’t hurt puppy’s neck but Ceaser being a 4 month German shepherd was way too powerful for something so soft, it was 13th Feb. Love was in the air, I guess Ceaser figured this out when I was trying to seduce my crush using his tactics of pee. I wasn’t at home and no one was keeping an eye on him, Ceaser took the advantage of this opportunity and relieved himself from the leash and made a dash for the love of his life, Julie. Two Crazy in love dogs, hiding and protecting their love from the evil eyes of the world went on to do what dogs does best, they started chasing cars.

He went missing and was last seen 5 hours ago with Julie but she was back already, from what I heard from my father, Ceaser was kidnapped or worst, dead. I hulked out after hearing this and started throwing stones at that selfish old bitch because of whom my friend Ceaser lost his life, Julie barked at me like a maniac which scare the hell out of me, made my shorts wet and the hulk inside of me went away like a scared dog with tail between his legs.

Many years later I saw many Cross breed puppies of a German shepherd and a street dog, so I guess my boy did well, found some local bitch and raised a little family. Way to go buddy.

My Second Pet

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Name- Billo

Breed- Unknown, also popularly known as Desi kutte.

Total Time spent with me- 4 to 5 years

No one gave me Billo, he was a street dog whom I found when he was few months old in a park hiding from other street dogs, and he looked sick, pale and weak to me. I scare the dogs away with pebbles and stones lying on the ground and gave billo few biscuits to eat which he finished in seconds, after this it was obvious to me that he would follow me home. I was probably 10-11 years old and a childhood version of Forrest Gump, my brain was still installing basic softwares like “why not to dig nose in public” or “how not to get scared easily” or “how to try your best to show that you aren’t as dumb as you look” and I was still a dumb kid so I bought him home in style, I carried him in my arms just like Shahrukh khan carried Preeti zinta in Veer Zaara. My Mother freaked out after seeing me carrying a street dog, which in my mother’s view is equivalent of carrying a pig. Both are same in terms of filth on their body, she later explained this to me.(funny side story- I once pulled a piglet from its tail in front of my mother, she didn’t touched me for a week)

Billo was a coward dog, or let’s say he was kind of a shy dog in front of monkeys or cats or strangers or even dogs (Don’t want to hurt his spirit’s sentiments), he never used to bark on strangers, he would sniff them then would go to sleep although he used to bark at me a lot because being a stupid kid I used to spray water from water cannon on him during holi.

All those childhood games I used to play with him eventually lost their charm as I grew up, I got busy in my own life with a fully functional brain finally. Now when I look back to memorize my childhood I realize that you can have the best fun of your life only when you ignore your brain no matter how stupid you look. For me there was a whole new world in front of me but for billo I was his whole world. He died when I was 15 years old, it was 2 days after diwali, he ate something poisonous, we did our best to save him, even called a doctor but we failed, he was buried near our home and I cried that day.

Love your Canine, they don’t get much life span and you may have different priorities but for him you are priority Numero Uno.

This is Prakhar Gupta.Have a nice day.