According to our elders, and beliefs, we celebrate Diwali as a victory of good over evil, return of Shri Ram, and to please & invite Goddess Lakshmi to visit our house and stay there forever, but it’s more like luring her and kidnapping her against her will but that’s ok, Gods are cool with kidnapping and all. But time has changed over the years, Diwali is not only a festival of light, but it is a means to detach us from our boring, monotonous, 9 to 5 life; it is a time for family reunions (although if you are working in an IT company you might abuse me because I know you didn’t get a day off even on Diwali but let’s just skip that for the sake of this article.)
And in those family reunions and Diwali parties, you meet various characters and the most unique of them are the Uncles and the Aunties, you know, the one whose kid is almost of your age, and they have always seen you as their kid’s competitor.
There are 4 types of uncle-aunty you will meet during your Diwali vacation. (This is solely based on my observation, in your case the number may vary, feel free to discuss them).
Show off Uncle-Aunty
“Beta tumne kis college se engineering ki hai?”
“Aunty maine UPTU k college se B.Tech ki hai.”
“UPTU??? (After making weird sympathy face), chalo koi nahi, meri Behan ka ladka toh IIT mein hai, IIT.”
You can easily identify these kind of uncles and aunties in parties, they laugh very loudly, talk very loudly and in some cases, insult you very loudly. They only talk about how their sons got into the best college of India (although they won’t tell you the amount they spent on donations) or how their daughters are going to the US on work visa, they even flaunt about their new pug.
“You know, humne abhi abhi who vodapone wala puppy liya hai.”
They sympathize with you; doesn’t matter if you are sad or not, their only job is to make you feel bad about what you are or what you have.
“Tumhara office 8:30 se suru hota hai, so Sad.”
“Kya, tumhari salary itni kam hai, so sad.”
“Tum class mein second aaye, first bhi aa sakte the, so sad.”
You can easily identify them, they always wear frowny faces. They will always complain or whine about their problems no matter if they are in a party or in a funeral, and somehow they end up sympathizing with you, and make you feel bad for your miserable life even if it’s not.
“Beta tumhe Samsung k discount coupons milte hain, hai na?”
“Mujhe 4 mobile ke coupons do.”
“Uncle main 4 nhi de skta, 4 nhi milte hain sirf 1 milta hai per year.”
“Beta yeh tumhari galat baat hai, mujhe laga tha ki tum dilwa paoge, par rehne do tum ab.”
This is just an example of how in the end they will prove that it’s your mistake that they won’t be able to buy mobile this Diwali or how you failed them to get a job for their kids even though you arranged for an interview for them. They are the worst type, first they will praise you, and if, by any chance, you failed them then they will thrash you on ground with their harsh words and you will get all the blames even if it’s not your fault.
How do you identify them you ask? Well, you can’t, they are invisible, and they will attack you when you least expected them.
Last but not the least, Parents
Yes, you heard me; our parents fill the last spot of this classification. Sure they are not uncle aunty for us but they are for other kids, and they also behave like one of the above for other kids, and to make matter worse for you, they are in fact, the combination of all the three types mentioned above.
They will Show you off in front of others like some kind of prized possession, bragging about your job or education.
They will sympathize with you when you are alone for your job or education because they know the truth.
And although our parents never ask anything in return from us but one day they will come to you with following needs.
“I want you to focus on studies.”
“Graduation is over but I want you to go for higher studies.”
“I want you to opt for a good job.”
“I want you to be serious in life.”
“Although you are 24 but I want you to get married.”
So yes, our parents are the combination of all three categories. But don’t worry; you will also have your revenge once you are turned into an uncle or aunty, you can also make a kid feel miserable.Ain’t that going to be fun????
No matter how much angry you get with these nagging questions but you will always love all of them because that’s the best part of Diwali, it brings families and friends together.
This is Prakhar Gupta.Have a Nice day and if you don’t know how to make your day good, go make some kid feel miserable. This is actually fun.